I’ll defer to Sista Toldja at The Beautiful Struggler:
Woman on male violence is not romantic affirmative action. It is destructive, abusive behavior that is a poison to all parties involved. By refusing to acknowledge that female on male abuse is domestic violence, we strip women of accountability for their actions. This is unbelievably anti-feminist, and yet often ignored by women who claim to be for the cause of women’s liberation. It poses women as volatile creatures who are incapable of controlling their emotions and incapable of perpetuating abuse. It also requires men to have some sort of superior level of self-control and restraint. I find this to be extremely patriarchal in thought and practice.
From Lorena Bobbitt up to the rumors swirling around Elin Nordegren attacking her husband Tiger Woods for his infidelities, there always seems to be an air of general amusement and/or a “you get him girl” whenever domestic abuse from a woman towards a man is alleged in the press in response to adultery or abuse in kind. Should she .
Early in 2009 it was an unfortunately common response of “Well, you don’t know what she did to him first” was thrown back at those who condemned Chris Brown’s brutal beating of Rihanna. Everyone who says a guy deserves a beat down for adultery should think about what that actually means.