Super Villian Alert: Super Flame Crotch in Michigan Courthouse

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As we speak, Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab is being carted around in federal custody in Michigan to a court house in a regular building (namely the Theodore Levin Federal Courthouse) instead of being where he should be: locked in a force field fortified, subterranean, super power negating cell in Gitmo designed by Richard “Dick” Cheney.

Do the guards in Michigan know the minute he touches the Holy Quran to swear in at the Grand Jury trial it will re energize his fiery crotch powers and he will use his lit lap to free all of his fellow prisoners who he has turned into willing minions with Muslim Extremist Hypnosis (© Al Qaeda 1993-2010)?

We can’t handle this Super Villian in regular court. Its too dangerous. Where are my pearls? I need to clutch them.