Herman Cain’s wants you to smoke if you got ’em

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Herman Cain fights for the ultra conservative, pro smoke break, Andy Rooney demeanor set…

That smile at the end, it’s a nod to the Sarah Palin wink:

A few years ago it was pretty common to hear folks like Fred Barnes gleefully noting how much Palin annoys liberals.

Cain is tapping into this with his ads. To tea baggers he is saying: I believe what you believe is self evident. Everyone else: Your opinions don’t matter to if you are tothe left of say Pat Robertson. Unlike Palin (and McCain for that matter), Cain passes the sound off test. Romney fails this too. By “sound off” test, I mean if you turn off the TV and don’t know what Cain is talking about, his time motivational speaking shines through.

Cain is playing the charismatic drumbeat for the tea bagger hymn: flat taxes, identifying racism as the figment of brainwashed black people’s minds (as brothers like he and Rick Perry know to be true), dropping regulations, and telling young people, Democrats and the liberal media to shut the heck up if they ask about foreign policy or social issues. Take Cain’s campaign at this level, and you’ve got it! Don’t think anymore.

For instance:

  • If you think Cain’s positions on abortion sound pro choice, but wonder why he’s ultimately pro life just know it’s because he said so. That doesn’t make sense to you? You just don’t understand so shut the heck up and you might learn something!
  • If you think 9-9-9 is a tax plan that will raise prices for the middle class, just know Herman Cain said it won’t. Economists disagree with Herman Cain? Well, they don’t understand embedded cost, so they need to just shut up. Okay, 9-0-9 for the poor people. But that’s it.
  • And that people frying border fence? To paraphrase Cain: I was joking. But the more I talk about it, the more I think ‘We’ll make it happen’.

That’s how he rolls.

Explain ludicrous plutocratic platform with attitude. When all else fails: smile. I’m joking. But in a serious way (then turn back to your tea bagger base and re-assure them: I. Ain’t. Joking. Because we azll know Muslim caliphate, Kenyan Mau Mau, Militant Black Panther, White People Hating, Puppet of Jewish People, America Destroying, Not Black Enough because he’s half a hippie Barack Hussein Obama isn’t when he meets in secret with his America hating friends. That’s right, he can get away with saying “just kidding” because they think Obama (prior to that Clinton) and any other Democrat has secretly sworn allegiance to a host of evils. So it’s okay to be deceptive to the liberal media and Democrats. They are in on the liberal conspiracy too. That’s right friends: “black helicopters” is a mainstream campaign strategy. Palin and Cain and Perry aren’t winking and smiling at liberals, they are letting their base know: remember that stuff we talked about…I’m about it. 24/7. That’s why he is in the lead.

Romney is carving out exquisite flip-flops to explain how a guy who was pro-choice, pro domestic partnership, anti-Goldwater convention, anti-persecution by main stream Christians, pro universal health care friend of Ted Kennedy governor throughout the 90’s is now trying to flip himself into the role of a tea party champion because he ran for president. The tea bagger suit just doesn’t fit: as articulate as Romney is, he just can’t speak tea bagger fluently and he knows it. Romney’s discomfort (e.g. not knowing which side of SB-5 in OH to take) is palpable. The GOP establishment remembers Romney’s positions and realizes that Romney’s victory schoolyard spats with lightweights Perry and Pawlenty are no replacement for Christie’s bombast or Jeb Bush’s formidable political pedigree and network. The far right vanguard (aka Tea Party) absolutely does not trust Romney, nor do they like Romney. They trust Herman Cain and they like him. A lot. According to a October 25, 2011 CBS news/NY Times polls Republican primary voters have Cain at 25% to Romney’s 21% and Tea Party Republicans have Cain at 32% to Romney’s 18%. Cain, just like when he bickered with Bill Clinton over health care, disagrees with Democrats because he “knows” in his heart of conservative hearts that Democrats have insidious socialist designs on the country, not because he actually judges their policy on outcomes or expert analysis. Cain is having some sustained success because he is a conservative culture warrior with pelts and has the Koch Bros. stamp of approval and he wears the tea bagger suit with ease and a pep in his step.

If you accept it at that level, it makes completely perfect nonsense.