I want Ice Cream Sandwich, I get Google Play

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I like my Android phone because I like having a keyboard for Texting, adding calendar items, contacts and the like. I can thumb the keys without looking. I tried the Samsung Galaxy Tab, it was miserable. iPad has no competition. My G2 was nice in 2010. It sucks today, not because I dislike the form factor or general performance, because the phones OS and default tools are stuck in a 2010/2011 limbo.

But today, I’m supposed to be happy about Android Market and some other Apps being called something else.

Today we’re eliminating all that hassle with Google Play, a digital entertainment destination where you can find, enjoy and share your favorite music, movies, books and apps on the web and on your Android phone or tablet. Google Play is entirely cloud-based so all your music, movies, books and apps are stored online, always available to you, and you never have to worry about losing them or moving them again.

Introducing Google Play: All your entertainment, anywhere you go | Official Google Blog.

Digital entertainment destination? STFU. If it’s one destination, how is it that my G2 and Galaxy Tab downloaded and updated three Apps today: Music, Movies and Videos are now Google Play Music, Google Play Movies, Google Play Videos.

So yet again, like when all of Google’s services were plus-ified, Google is re-branding a bunch of stuff I already use, and then pushing an update to me and every other user with some annoying interface changes. My Samsung Galaxy Tab and G2 are already upgraded. I’ve used all those services on my Android phone and/or tablet. Have used, not continue to use (big difference). This won’t make me a regular user of any of them (iTunes, Netflix and Kindle instead). I buy in Google Music, download it and then sync it with iTunes. I tried using Google Music for a week and it just was too clunky of an interface. There is no way to keep songs on my phone or tablet, so listening is dependent upon my psuedo 4G/3G connection or wi-fi access. Meanwhile, my G2 is so very two years ago.

Google Chrome is my favorite browser. To me, the others don’t compete. As a windows laptop user at home and work, it’s a great choice for me. I have Google’s phone, and I can’t use it on my phone. Not even an old version. I don’t have Ice Cream Sandwich, the only Android version with Chrome. Instead, I’m stuck with their default browser app named “Browser”. Using it is worse than than not browsing at all. It’s a piece of garbage. But I have Google Play now, which means nothing new or improved to me, just more inconvenience.

If Google Play came today after Ice Cream Sandwich came last month, I wouldn’t care. I would be unimpressed, but I wouldn’t be annoyed right now. But I am annoyed because hackers last years put ICS on T-Mobile G2’s and stabilized it while my carrier takes their sweet time and Google hasn’t figured out how to “de-fragment” the Android user base.